Tears squeezed out of my eyes as I desperately whispered aloud, “God help me!”
In the same moment, I heard the ding of a text message arriving on my phone. Tears blurred my vision as I tried to make out the words. “You came from God and He loves you unconditionally. Your assignment can’t be messed up by your circumstances.”
By now, tears were streaming uncontrollably down my face. It was one of those days when I felt overwhelmed by regrets and marred by my past. I wondered if my destiny had been derailed by my uncertainty and mistakes. I floundered in my motherhood. My floors were sticky, the counters cluttered and dirty laundry was everywhere! I had yelled at the kids, been impatient with my husband and frankly, I was just worn out. I just wanted the world to stop spinning so I could get off for awhile.
But as I paused to reflect on the words and the timing of that text I became aware of His mind-blowing unconditional love that was there for me. I just need to believe. My human mind struggles to wrap itself around the idea of unconditional love. It’s easy to believe when it’s about someone else. But, in my most ugly, shameful moments can I receive… can I believe, really believe it’s actually there for me?
Later that day I took my daughter to the park and as we sat on the picnic blanket and ate our lunch I asked Jessie, (age 6) a question.
“Jess, what do you know about God?”
She paused briefly and then looked at me with those big blue eyes and said, ” He never fails. He’s always great. He never makes mistakes. He’s always answering our prayers. He loves us no matter what.
How do you know this, I asked.
With unwavering confidence, she replied, “I just know! God never lies. He made all of us and we’re all special.”
Then, she changed the subject, and reached for her jelly sandwich.
Later that afternoon, I was flipping through Facebook and stumbled across a friend’s recent post. She shared these words written by Ann Voskamp:
You gotta hang in there: You matter– because the very matter of your soul is mined from the heart of God.
Your work is important–because the very weight of the Cross gives it gravity and import.
And your name is forever known– not because of the number of people who follow you, but because of the One who etched your name right in to the very palm of His hand and cries, ‘Come, Follow me’.
And so, I will.
He loves me while I’m still in my mess. He hears me and comes running when I call out to Him. My assignment— my work— my destiny and purpose cannot be messed up by my circumstances or my past.
Mind-blowing love and radical redemption! I can’t help but follow Him.
10 thoughts on “Amazing Love”
Love this, Jenn…. you are amazing. Xoxoxo. -Gertrude-
I think the same of you. 🙂 Hennrietta
Grasping this concept is so difficult sometimes. You are an inspiration.
No kidding, sis! Just because I posted it doesn’t mean I fully grasp it. 🙂
Beautiful words, Jenn! Hugs to you today!! 🙂
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So glad you are FINALLY blogging Jenn! Awesome first post!
This is me. Now I know why God brought us together. Hugs!
Thanks, Joanne. 🙂
Maybe it’s part of that same Love that enables us to put our thoughts down (like you just did) and brings the realization that none of us are alone–we all have the same human condition–that gives rise to these thoughts and our expression of them; allowing us to use them as stepping stones toward more growth (and more thoughts, expressions, realizations, etc….)
Yes, Betty. I agree. It helps to remember that we are not alone and so we can encourage each other in the process. I love hearing others express there version of how Jesus shows up in their mess. It’s encourages me to look for Him too. And when I write about it, it helps me process what is happening. I hope it also encourages others that they are not alone. We’re all in the same same sinking boat. I want to get out of my boat and walk toward Jesus in spite of the waves.